I search all the time for 'the best' manicures, colorists, hair stylists, massage therapists... the list is endless. I began my online reference for the best with Citysearch about 8 years ago. This was the first time I realized just how great online presence was. My reference of websites has obviously grown a lot since those early days, including any and all sites that you can find reviews on! You can read anyone's reviews of any place, or person you want to use and see if it's even worth the try. Awesome! Until...
in the past many years, businesses also realized how important these online reviews are and are coming up with their own ways to ensure they have a 'stellar' online presence as well. Being a business owner, I have been tempted many a time to embellish a little... this is what has made me know and realize that other businesses have taken part in this idea. If you look up any business you most likely can find something about them. The good, the bad and the perfectly neutral. Sometimes you don't find much, which is frustrating as you hoped that someone was either so happy or miserable with their choice of business that they decided to be vocal about it. This hopeful attempt to find ratings may lead you down a path of lies, deceit and espionage! LOL... ok, not the last one, maybe... ;) I have found many businesses with multiple AWESOME reviews. It's ridiculous. You see how great they are, go there, to find out for yourself it was all a scham. The reviews were probably written by friends, employees or owners of the business. You can tell, they sound 'too' perfect: "These guys are awesome! I am so impressed with the individual love and attention my dog got. The paper work was informative and I felt really comfortable leaving my sweet pup to be taken care of my them. I will be sure to use them again. Have recommended to all my friends." This is what a 'bogus' online review of a pet sitter might say (this isn't an actual one, but something like what I have seen used before). I work in this industry so I know what sounds fake, clients don't talk that way. They don't notice these things then review about it. Instead they make very normal comments, they don't normally sound so happy, as though they are about to explode, and don't go overboard with the compliments. Noticing paperwork is VERY abnormal, no matter HOW good it is! I've had clients notice my professionalism and paperwork, but NEVER comment on the paperwork! Just something they notice but don't rave about. Due to this, I have become familiar with what other businesses might say. One example: A local hair salon, that opened about 4 years ago, opened with numerous perfect reviews on Citysearch Austin. I was surprised that such a new place could have such an awesome start, especially since I had met the owner and wasn't too impressed. I wanted to check it out, but decided to wait and see what a few more months of reviews would reveal. SO glad I did! They eventually got very nasty reviews, and the way they were written was much more 'human, every day person' rather than perfect, like they were written by employees, friends of the company or owner. Amazing what these little online blurbs can do for a company! They got a lot of business but it was not earned. They blew up their presence and made it seem like everyone should go there, they did and came back shocked as to why there are so many positive reviews, when they had a bad experience. Eventually it all evens out and the truth becomes known. Now, this place apparently decided to step up to the bar and actually began to fulfill their customers expectations, over the past few years, their presence improved and they are what they set themselves up to be, a great place for customers to visit and use services. This is quite unique though, most of the time, I notice it is a very slippery downward slope they tread on, and subsequently fall to failure. Once they start to lie, they lose sight of the real objective, happy customers. Those who write earned, awesome reviews and return with friends should be more the focus, the bigger picture. I think this is getting lost in big business, never mind, I know it has.
As a consumer, one still has to be on the watch. Read, research and do it again. You never know when those final bad reviews start to roll in, I have had enough bad experiences on my own (some REALLY bad!), and it's only a few weeks or months after my experience that I finally find the honesty I was searching for. SO: be wary, does it sound real, do normal people talk that way? Be a little skeptical and make sure to ask the questions. If you are mainly concerned with professionalism, ask about it! If you are mainly concerned with the attention to detail, ask! If the person you question doesn't have an acceptable answer, or they stumble to find an answer, means they don't 'do that' or pay attention to it, they can't even answer or respond to any questions about 'it'. Consumers generally wont write a good review of a place or service if they don't feel time was taken to assist them or enough experience of the company representative to provide comforting answers was available or provided. Rushing=need to get you outta here before you change your mind. Also: keep an eye out for reviews that seem 'too informed'. If the person writing seems like they are too educated in the industry the review is referencing, read their review with a sense of skepticism. Then read 5 more, are they more positive or negative?
Additionally, I wish the general consumer would realize just how much of an impact online reviews can have. Don't write one arbitrarily, you can greatly affect a small company. I have heard too many consumers making a nasty comment about a place they visited, and I realize they have no idea just how much that can hurt a company if it isn't accurate, in their opinion of course. But that is the world we live in, and it seems to only get tougher. You can't force a consumer to write something great, and you can't always fix a customers bad experience. As a business owner, you are left with an online statement that you can either take to learn from, or ignore completely and hope it doesn't represent a omen of things to come. Just as it's said: Lemons, make something of 'em...
Good luck with your choice! Now on to find the perfect hair stylist and colorist...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Dave Chapelle on the Actor's Studio
While this episode may not be new, I am now seeing it for the first time. I am really taken a back by what he says. He presents the 'reality' of Hollywood and all that comes with it in a way that I think both the audience present and those watching can understand.
It is particularly touching when he talks about his dad's death. Having been there, it is amazing to me how such simple things in life begin to matter and how we are all universally connected. He is a normal person like the rest of us, but happens to have a job that puts him in a spot light the majority of us do not have to worry about. He seems very real and this episode is particularly interesting to me after I read about his 'crazy' breakdown and fleeing to Africa. (Which he refers to often through out his interview). While I think most actors fain behavior in order to endorse sympathy, I see that he didn't, he just got away from the very things and people who were causing him pain. At the expense of his career potentially... But he's still popular. This is particularly p0ignant for me. He was willing to risk the thing he loves, makes a lot of money by and has been accustomed to for many years in order to find greater salvation in himself and escape it all. Leaving his comfort zone for what matters, even if that transition isn't comfortable. Until a person has had to do this, no one who hasn't, will even begin to understand. And I mean, real pain to leave what you know in order to allow you to spread your wings and head out on a new path. I think he was almost forced to this decision. He couldn't handle anymore executives and money makers telling him what to do so he wouldn't 'mess up'. He didn't listen and now is a better person because of it, in his own right.
He clearly loves his family and kids and feels passionate about the worlds reaction to his 'crazy' spell, leaving to Africa, the negative reports that came out... I feel sorry for him. Yes, he made too much money, but it was at a big expense. He speaks out about being labeled as crazy. I really like his thought on that: Crazy is what you call people when you don't understand them. WOW, never ever thought about it that way. I don't know if I've ever or will ever be called that, but realize that the world around him controlled him (the machine as he calls it), and once he took back control, and ensured the things and people in his life that are important were kept that way, maybe he's found greater peace now.
I think his interview is particularly poignant right now for me. You give all you have to other people, and it is at the detriment of yourself and who you really are. Not everyone gets to/ choose to work at a job they feel fulfilled by... but it doesn't mean those who reach for it, can't achieve it. Just don't forget who you are, what you stand for, what is really important to you along the way. I have realized I forgot these things, put them aside, much like Dave did when reaching for his Hollywood dreams. Seems like he has come back down to the basics of what he really wants in life and it seems his fans are still interested, maybe even more now. He's been shown to be human, just like the rest of us. Just a little funnier (than most people) and a lot wiser (than he was previously).
Keep it up Dave, you have a wonderful talent and now insight that will guide you through it all.
It is particularly touching when he talks about his dad's death. Having been there, it is amazing to me how such simple things in life begin to matter and how we are all universally connected. He is a normal person like the rest of us, but happens to have a job that puts him in a spot light the majority of us do not have to worry about. He seems very real and this episode is particularly interesting to me after I read about his 'crazy' breakdown and fleeing to Africa. (Which he refers to often through out his interview). While I think most actors fain behavior in order to endorse sympathy, I see that he didn't, he just got away from the very things and people who were causing him pain. At the expense of his career potentially... But he's still popular. This is particularly p0ignant for me. He was willing to risk the thing he loves, makes a lot of money by and has been accustomed to for many years in order to find greater salvation in himself and escape it all. Leaving his comfort zone for what matters, even if that transition isn't comfortable. Until a person has had to do this, no one who hasn't, will even begin to understand. And I mean, real pain to leave what you know in order to allow you to spread your wings and head out on a new path. I think he was almost forced to this decision. He couldn't handle anymore executives and money makers telling him what to do so he wouldn't 'mess up'. He didn't listen and now is a better person because of it, in his own right.
He clearly loves his family and kids and feels passionate about the worlds reaction to his 'crazy' spell, leaving to Africa, the negative reports that came out... I feel sorry for him. Yes, he made too much money, but it was at a big expense. He speaks out about being labeled as crazy. I really like his thought on that: Crazy is what you call people when you don't understand them. WOW, never ever thought about it that way. I don't know if I've ever or will ever be called that, but realize that the world around him controlled him (the machine as he calls it), and once he took back control, and ensured the things and people in his life that are important were kept that way, maybe he's found greater peace now.
I think his interview is particularly poignant right now for me. You give all you have to other people, and it is at the detriment of yourself and who you really are. Not everyone gets to/ choose to work at a job they feel fulfilled by... but it doesn't mean those who reach for it, can't achieve it. Just don't forget who you are, what you stand for, what is really important to you along the way. I have realized I forgot these things, put them aside, much like Dave did when reaching for his Hollywood dreams. Seems like he has come back down to the basics of what he really wants in life and it seems his fans are still interested, maybe even more now. He's been shown to be human, just like the rest of us. Just a little funnier (than most people) and a lot wiser (than he was previously).
Keep it up Dave, you have a wonderful talent and now insight that will guide you through it all.
Friday, September 11, 2009
PETA vs. the rest of us
I cannot stand PETA. The followers and organizer drive me nuts. Probably almost as much as they feel about fur, and animals, I feel about them...
Don't get me wrong, the cliche, "I love animals, I have friends who are animals." ;) No, I really do: I have fostered homeless dogs and taken care of all varieties of homeless pets through out my life. My own dog is a resuce, BTW: she chose me. I have picked my belief/ one of my interests: help these little guys out, dont buy a pet if you can adopt the one you want. I dont think because you love dogs or cats that you shouldnt be able to eat meat or wear fur or leather. Wearing fur doesn't make me a bad person....I just don't think any extreme of belief is healthy, especially when you obligate those around you to follow your doctrine. If any religion did this forcibly, they would be attacked openly. But, because it is a cute kittie or dog, and they aren't hurting anyone.. yeah right. I agree, animals shouldn't be used for testing or torture. In fact, I fully agree with science and criminology, that those who torture or mistreat animals, mistreat humans, and can eventually lead to even more dangerous behavior if not caught in time.
My issue with this group: the lady who runs it is crazy as a loon. She posts horrible videos that sell her position, but I have heard she has gone overboard to get these videos, displaying one version of the truth. (as we all do when defending something we feel passionate about). Ingrid Newkirk, the president of PETA has no boundaries. It's almost like Scientology, which I also despise, have lost friends to that organization, aka: cult. (another post, seriously). If you make allegations of PETA, I'm sure they would sue you, but they do it to others all the time. As i write this, I see on the web various articles of people who agree, and others that show just how crazy this organization is. My dislike of this group begins with a classic fashion staple: fur. I LOVE fur, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT! I think it is so beautiful and I appreciate every one I own. My mother wore them, my grandmother wore them... I have very fond memories of them. They smell wonderful (yea, that may be a unique thing to me, but hey, it is what it is!), feel great, are very warm and comfi. and I thank the animals that they came from. I take very good care of the ones I own, and NO I am not ok with "at least I didn't buy a new one, this vintage one was already made" crap. I don't discriminate against fur, I wear old, new, vintage.. how ever it is, I like, I get it.
I have one story I always retell:
I was out one night, wearing a beautiful fox coat, tan and white. (fox tails). It's awesome, and I get girls coming up to me every time I wear any of my coats, but this one in particular. I was waiting for my car at a valet stand and this drunk guy walks up to me, after all these girls walked by asking to touch it and telling me how much they loved it, to say: " You're wearing *hick up* fur *hick up* ". My response: "Oh really?, Well you're wearing leather shoes."
I retell this interaction to anyone I have a conversation about fur with. It shocks me that so many people can think they feel passionately about something like fur or eating meat, but then are complete hypocrites. I think most people follow like sheep, 'if someone else they know feels this way, maybe I should to', without another thought. This guy came up 2 more times, each time, my response made him confused and walking away. This leads me to my topic of PETA, Why must I comply with their beliefs, or why should anyone have to comply? It is not a choice with them, they obligate anyone in their path to their beliefs. Example: Throwing paint/ blood on women wearing fur. Why should these women be afraid to wear fur in public? Fur and leather has been worn by humans since the beginning of our existence. While the need isn't quite the same now as it was then, it is still something that should be an option, not a forced abstention.
I feel much more comfortable wearing fur overseas. Many parts of Europe, it gets so cold that fur is almost required, as it is warmer and most women own them from their mothers or grandmothers, as I do. It is simply more widely accepted in general. In the states, I still wear them, but the city I live in is quite environmentally conscious and am thankful that a lot of compliments come my way, I have yet to really have an issue here. I just am so irritated that I 'have' to feel uncomfortable or afraid that some crazy person who wont have to pay for their crime, will 'attack' me thinking they are standing up for the beliefs. Well, what about mine? I believe I should kick your A**! lol.... haven't had to, but that's what I think would happen if it did.
So, there it is, my open, posted opinion about a topic that is 'sensitive'. My message: Leave us fur wearing girls alone. We look good and feel good in them, go be crazy somewhere else.
Don't get me wrong, the cliche, "I love animals, I have friends who are animals." ;) No, I really do: I have fostered homeless dogs and taken care of all varieties of homeless pets through out my life. My own dog is a resuce, BTW: she chose me. I have picked my belief/ one of my interests: help these little guys out, dont buy a pet if you can adopt the one you want. I dont think because you love dogs or cats that you shouldnt be able to eat meat or wear fur or leather. Wearing fur doesn't make me a bad person....I just don't think any extreme of belief is healthy, especially when you obligate those around you to follow your doctrine. If any religion did this forcibly, they would be attacked openly. But, because it is a cute kittie or dog, and they aren't hurting anyone.. yeah right. I agree, animals shouldn't be used for testing or torture. In fact, I fully agree with science and criminology, that those who torture or mistreat animals, mistreat humans, and can eventually lead to even more dangerous behavior if not caught in time.
My issue with this group: the lady who runs it is crazy as a loon. She posts horrible videos that sell her position, but I have heard she has gone overboard to get these videos, displaying one version of the truth. (as we all do when defending something we feel passionate about). Ingrid Newkirk, the president of PETA has no boundaries. It's almost like Scientology, which I also despise, have lost friends to that organization, aka: cult. (another post, seriously). If you make allegations of PETA, I'm sure they would sue you, but they do it to others all the time. As i write this, I see on the web various articles of people who agree, and others that show just how crazy this organization is. My dislike of this group begins with a classic fashion staple: fur. I LOVE fur, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT! I think it is so beautiful and I appreciate every one I own. My mother wore them, my grandmother wore them... I have very fond memories of them. They smell wonderful (yea, that may be a unique thing to me, but hey, it is what it is!), feel great, are very warm and comfi. and I thank the animals that they came from. I take very good care of the ones I own, and NO I am not ok with "at least I didn't buy a new one, this vintage one was already made" crap. I don't discriminate against fur, I wear old, new, vintage.. how ever it is, I like, I get it.
I have one story I always retell:
I was out one night, wearing a beautiful fox coat, tan and white. (fox tails). It's awesome, and I get girls coming up to me every time I wear any of my coats, but this one in particular. I was waiting for my car at a valet stand and this drunk guy walks up to me, after all these girls walked by asking to touch it and telling me how much they loved it, to say: " You're wearing *hick up* fur *hick up* ". My response: "Oh really?, Well you're wearing leather shoes."
I retell this interaction to anyone I have a conversation about fur with. It shocks me that so many people can think they feel passionately about something like fur or eating meat, but then are complete hypocrites. I think most people follow like sheep, 'if someone else they know feels this way, maybe I should to', without another thought. This guy came up 2 more times, each time, my response made him confused and walking away. This leads me to my topic of PETA, Why must I comply with their beliefs, or why should anyone have to comply? It is not a choice with them, they obligate anyone in their path to their beliefs. Example: Throwing paint/ blood on women wearing fur. Why should these women be afraid to wear fur in public? Fur and leather has been worn by humans since the beginning of our existence. While the need isn't quite the same now as it was then, it is still something that should be an option, not a forced abstention.
I feel much more comfortable wearing fur overseas. Many parts of Europe, it gets so cold that fur is almost required, as it is warmer and most women own them from their mothers or grandmothers, as I do. It is simply more widely accepted in general. In the states, I still wear them, but the city I live in is quite environmentally conscious and am thankful that a lot of compliments come my way, I have yet to really have an issue here. I just am so irritated that I 'have' to feel uncomfortable or afraid that some crazy person who wont have to pay for their crime, will 'attack' me thinking they are standing up for the beliefs. Well, what about mine? I believe I should kick your A**! lol.... haven't had to, but that's what I think would happen if it did.
So, there it is, my open, posted opinion about a topic that is 'sensitive'. My message: Leave us fur wearing girls alone. We look good and feel good in them, go be crazy somewhere else.
Attractiveness: is it really universal, do the blind 'see' it the same way?
I had a recent thought: do blind people (from birth) 'see' attractiveness in others the same as those with sight? I realize that they can use their hands, and their senses are heightened, but is it the same?
Scientists (from the various science shows I watch), talk about attractiveness can be measured. There is a literal measurement, shape and proportion to a persons face that will make them more universally attractive or unattractive. This is something that our subconscious apparently uses to tell us a good mate or not. Those people with very symmetrical features are rated higher in attractiveness than those without symmetry. There is a model, Linda Evangelista I believe, who's face is so perfect, she is (her face) is literally the most perfect, and universally attractive person found yet. While I am sure there may be more, I mean, she did have a family, and I'm guessing her traits weren't completely unique to just her, but she is the one in the public eye, and most easily observed.
So... that lends me to wonder: do/ would a blind person see her the same as these scientists? Does sight dominate this opinion or is it inherent and touch would reveal the same results?
Is there a study on this, there should be, I find this fascinating.
Here's a recent news report talking about something similar: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8069993.stm
So, yes, the blind are as shallow as the rest of us, well they can be, but do they physically feel the attractiveness that the sighted see?
May be following up with a little study of my own.
Scientists (from the various science shows I watch), talk about attractiveness can be measured. There is a literal measurement, shape and proportion to a persons face that will make them more universally attractive or unattractive. This is something that our subconscious apparently uses to tell us a good mate or not. Those people with very symmetrical features are rated higher in attractiveness than those without symmetry. There is a model, Linda Evangelista I believe, who's face is so perfect, she is (her face) is literally the most perfect, and universally attractive person found yet. While I am sure there may be more, I mean, she did have a family, and I'm guessing her traits weren't completely unique to just her, but she is the one in the public eye, and most easily observed.
So... that lends me to wonder: do/ would a blind person see her the same as these scientists? Does sight dominate this opinion or is it inherent and touch would reveal the same results?
Is there a study on this, there should be, I find this fascinating.
Here's a recent news report talking about something similar: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8069993.stm
So, yes, the blind are as shallow as the rest of us, well they can be, but do they physically feel the attractiveness that the sighted see?
May be following up with a little study of my own.
Blind Melon: Change
Somehow, I have missed listening to this song, even though it has been out for about 10 years...OR like so many, I never noticed it... Blind Melon's: 'Change'. It is a great song! I love the lyrics and the quitar is just awesome. I think I have never really given credit to this band, and despite it's 'pop'-ularity when the self-named album was released, I dont know if anyone listening, or the majority of fans even knew or thought much about their music. I dont think they produce/make their own music anymore, and as usual, I figure this out too late, same thing with Oasis. But only like their old stuff, not their new, so maybe it's a good thing B.M. hasnt produced anything recently. Nostalgia is the best memory, it's always perfect as you remember it.
Thanks B.M. for making a great sounding song, I think it should be labeled as a classic, if it isn't already.
SEE: check it out, apparently, I had no idea... http://www.blindmelon.org/songlist/change.htm
Thanks B.M. for making a great sounding song, I think it should be labeled as a classic, if it isn't already.
SEE: check it out, apparently, I had no idea... http://www.blindmelon.org/songlist/change.htm
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Girls vs. Women
Ok, so this is one that I have had to grow into, one that alluded and annoyed me when I was younger.
Girls vs. Women
When I was younger, I felt so old, so invincible. Like I had lived a full life and knew 'stuff '. Now, part of this may have been true to some very small extent, as may have been evident because I always hung out with the older kids. Freshman hanging out with the Seniors kind of thing. I thought most kids my age weren't...well i don't even know if I thought they 'weren't' anything, just that I liked hanging out with my older friends. I only remember that the issues of younger kids my age, seemed trivial... It was natural for me to be around the older kids.
As the years passed... wow! Now I have a beginning to understand what women of 30+ years were talking about. And I'm trying to not impose the same attitude and stereotypes I felt when I was a 'girl', as a woman now.
I remember being told when I was younger by older women: "you don't know, you are young" or "my 30's are way better than my 20's ever were"...I felt insulted like my years up to then hadn't mattered. They did, obviously as they made me who I am now. But I see what they mean: my 20's: ahhhh, the days. Hanging out with friends was my biggest objective of the day, going to frat parties, going out to 6th street before I was legal, staying up late, eating junk food without inhibition. You know, college! It was so much fun, I still have very fond memories. I was very ready for college, rather than high school. I just couldn't wait until college... then college came and it felt like forever. I was able to dream about my perfect life after school, the awesome job I was going to have, the cool car I would buy, the big house... Perfect in my eyes.
Then life got in the way. My mother became very ill right around my last semester. I spent all my time after graduation taking care of her. (no sob story here, again for another post). She passed, and here I was, my only real parent gone, (disowned my dad at 13), no cool job, (I had decided my last semester I didn't want to work for the government), I didn't have any money, (no job= no money), and wasn't looking to get married any time soon (so no kids in the near future). Now, I had to start my life again, but was still recovering from my loss. Had to now redefine who I was, or wanted to be.
So, I began to meet new people, new fun, doing everything all the time people. It was so much fun, really enjoyed it all, like college, have fond memories. But couldn't continue that forever, I still wanted the job, house and car, something hanging out with my friends all the time, couldn't provide. But still know this experience was a part of my life development, and embrace that knowledge.
I began to work at a local start up, was fun, and inspirational but wasn't really a life long career as far as I could see. I then began to work for my self. While this may seem like easy street, I will say this has been the hardest time of my life. Even beats my mothers passing. I knew she would pass sometime, just happened sooner than later. My job, that I set my house, car, and big future on didn't pan out like I had thought it would. While my life isn't on hold, it is with this most recent experience that I realize I am a woman now. My age and this most recent experience means I can never go 'back' to my younger, girlish self. This became obvious to me when I was observing some young college age girls in little groups. Listening and observing their social interactions made clear indications of their age and status in life. I then caught myself, wanting to pass judgement " oh my gosh, they are so young and act so stupid"...then I stopped. I was them one time, before the parental departure, the degree, the parties and the job.
While this life experience isn't something I will be able to escape, nor forget by any means, I realize I can now be happy. Really happy with my life. It is not perfect, I still have the ability to find my dream job, even if I am not sure what it is and buy that car I want, or at this point, cars... I realize my life has changed, but it can be for the better and it has made me the woman I now am. I may not be as oblivious to some of the facts of life anymore, I have so much to learn and so many years left to do it in. Here I go once again, with new found knowledge and experience, I get to find out who I am, and who I want to be.
I still feel young, and adventurous, but my goals and aspirations have gotten bigger and more worldly. I am more daring now than then I would say, willing to take risks I hadn't thought of before. I love the challenges, and have even pushed myself far enough to know some new boundaries. The late nights weren't for nothing, I actually met my husband one of the first nights I went out to meet new friends. We were married 7 years later, have been for 2 years now. I just continue to move on and find out more about myself, which is why I realized those women said "30's way better than 20's". I would go as far as to guess that for most women, it isn't until they are 30+ that they begin to really understand who they are and who they really want to be. Still no kids, I cant imagine having any right now while I'm still figuring who I am all over again. Maybe before too many more years go by... We'll see, that will be another life event to grow upon.
Girls vs. Women
When I was younger, I felt so old, so invincible. Like I had lived a full life and knew 'stuff '. Now, part of this may have been true to some very small extent, as may have been evident because I always hung out with the older kids. Freshman hanging out with the Seniors kind of thing. I thought most kids my age weren't...well i don't even know if I thought they 'weren't' anything, just that I liked hanging out with my older friends. I only remember that the issues of younger kids my age, seemed trivial... It was natural for me to be around the older kids.
As the years passed... wow! Now I have a beginning to understand what women of 30+ years were talking about. And I'm trying to not impose the same attitude and stereotypes I felt when I was a 'girl', as a woman now.
I remember being told when I was younger by older women: "you don't know, you are young" or "my 30's are way better than my 20's ever were"...I felt insulted like my years up to then hadn't mattered. They did, obviously as they made me who I am now. But I see what they mean: my 20's: ahhhh, the days. Hanging out with friends was my biggest objective of the day, going to frat parties, going out to 6th street before I was legal, staying up late, eating junk food without inhibition. You know, college! It was so much fun, I still have very fond memories. I was very ready for college, rather than high school. I just couldn't wait until college... then college came and it felt like forever. I was able to dream about my perfect life after school, the awesome job I was going to have, the cool car I would buy, the big house... Perfect in my eyes.
Then life got in the way. My mother became very ill right around my last semester. I spent all my time after graduation taking care of her. (no sob story here, again for another post). She passed, and here I was, my only real parent gone, (disowned my dad at 13), no cool job, (I had decided my last semester I didn't want to work for the government), I didn't have any money, (no job= no money), and wasn't looking to get married any time soon (so no kids in the near future). Now, I had to start my life again, but was still recovering from my loss. Had to now redefine who I was, or wanted to be.
So, I began to meet new people, new fun, doing everything all the time people. It was so much fun, really enjoyed it all, like college, have fond memories. But couldn't continue that forever, I still wanted the job, house and car, something hanging out with my friends all the time, couldn't provide. But still know this experience was a part of my life development, and embrace that knowledge.
I began to work at a local start up, was fun, and inspirational but wasn't really a life long career as far as I could see. I then began to work for my self. While this may seem like easy street, I will say this has been the hardest time of my life. Even beats my mothers passing. I knew she would pass sometime, just happened sooner than later. My job, that I set my house, car, and big future on didn't pan out like I had thought it would. While my life isn't on hold, it is with this most recent experience that I realize I am a woman now. My age and this most recent experience means I can never go 'back' to my younger, girlish self. This became obvious to me when I was observing some young college age girls in little groups. Listening and observing their social interactions made clear indications of their age and status in life. I then caught myself, wanting to pass judgement " oh my gosh, they are so young and act so stupid"...then I stopped. I was them one time, before the parental departure, the degree, the parties and the job.
While this life experience isn't something I will be able to escape, nor forget by any means, I realize I can now be happy. Really happy with my life. It is not perfect, I still have the ability to find my dream job, even if I am not sure what it is and buy that car I want, or at this point, cars... I realize my life has changed, but it can be for the better and it has made me the woman I now am. I may not be as oblivious to some of the facts of life anymore, I have so much to learn and so many years left to do it in. Here I go once again, with new found knowledge and experience, I get to find out who I am, and who I want to be.
I still feel young, and adventurous, but my goals and aspirations have gotten bigger and more worldly. I am more daring now than then I would say, willing to take risks I hadn't thought of before. I love the challenges, and have even pushed myself far enough to know some new boundaries. The late nights weren't for nothing, I actually met my husband one of the first nights I went out to meet new friends. We were married 7 years later, have been for 2 years now. I just continue to move on and find out more about myself, which is why I realized those women said "30's way better than 20's". I would go as far as to guess that for most women, it isn't until they are 30+ that they begin to really understand who they are and who they really want to be. Still no kids, I cant imagine having any right now while I'm still figuring who I am all over again. Maybe before too many more years go by... We'll see, that will be another life event to grow upon.
Talking to India
So many times I have called customer service to talk to someone on the other side of the world. While I initally didnt understand peoples complaints about this, a very common occurance, this was short lived.
As I'm sure, more than one person has experienced this scenario, there is no point in restating the obvious, you call, you get someone who says their name is Steven or Michelle, even though you know it isnt. The conversation occurs, you hope you will get the answer you need. You hang up satisfied or more frustrated.
I first thought that to be against overseas customer service was ignorant or racists. I mean, they have the guide books and have been trained on the software, product, or service you are calling about. Right?
Well, I have realized that may not be enough. Americans are very demanding, and this has become an integrated part of our society. We move at a fast pace in general, always engaged in a 'rat race' mentality. 'If you can't help me, get out of my way'. This is perpetual, as it may not be us with the urgent need but our customers, and they are rushed because of their boss, which they have to listen to becuase they have to support their family, who is rushing off to soccer games and ballet. Not enough time for life, so rush the hours you have.
As an American who has been fortunate to have traveled across the pond, I realized that Americans and our country has had a profound effect on the world. This is made so obvious by the eonomic situation, we collapsed, they all collapsed. Our world is intertwined. No matter how much you may hate 'foreignors' (I will hold my opinion on that for a later blog), you cannot escape it. They live here, we live there, we are all a big mix! India included. While the majority of their population is Indian, born and raised, they talk to more Americans each day, further intergrating our societies. This is very difficult for both sides I think, as Americans most likely havent traveled to India, and most Indians havent traveled to the US. Americans more times than not, are not schooled on other cultures or socities, we are such a large country with such a mix of people that most do not feel the need to go outside of our continent. This is where the problem of Talking to India comes in.
When Americans call customer service, we are expecting answers...30 minutes ago. We are usually impatient and are not too happy, and to now have to 'deal' with huge cultural differences that we have no basis to understand. I try to be patient, realizing these poor people ( not poor money, but by being subjected to the attitudes of Americans) are making more money than they could have hoped for, doing a job most Americans find rather demeaning. I have done phone customer service and have had my share of yelling and nasty comments, but have come to realize that when customers called, they now had a free therapist to vent their frustration on, no matter that their issue is really about something else in their day, which they turn into more anger about the product or service they are calling about. I took it in stride and never took it home, luckily. I'm not so sure about the rep's in India... I have never gotten much attitude back, even during particularly stressful phone calls, but have had the few conversations that were of complete and utter shock to me.
The First: Called about a music player I use, it began to have issues and needed customer service to assist me in fixing it. During the conversation the rep (in India) began to ask me personal questions, which I cant remember now of course, but I do remember the shock I felt and how angry I was. I didnt yell at him, mainly due to shock, but did sternly tell him that was none of his business, to keep all our conversation professional. He did, but I have to wonder where he got the idea that this is how to interact with a caller? Especially a female
The Second: Called about a VOiP service, my phone wouldnt work and had been having alot of problems with it. I had called a couple of times before, again, no yelling, but getting to the point where a manager would have to assist as all other rep's didnt have enough knowledge or experience to actually help fix the problem. I spoke to a woman this last time; she went through all the basic introductions and questions one normally gets when calling into a large calling station over seas. I obliged, even though I had already expereinced all this and knew she couldnt help. She asked me to describe my problem, I did. She then began to lead me through all the solutions I already knew, had previously tried too many times to count, step by step. I explained I already did all of this, to please transfer me to a manager as no solutions provided after 3-4 calls has worked. The shock with this call: She WOULDNT let me go! She would NOT transfer me despite me asking her many many many times politely. I was in complete shock and awe at what was going on. She just kept telling me to describe my problem, she could fix it. I explained to her, she does not understand my issue, the solutions she is providing do not work etc... this continued repetitiously for 10 min. I finally, with no other alternative, told her I do not want to talk to her anymore, to transfer me immediately, even if it wasnt a manager. I couldnt talk to her anymore. She wouldnt do it, just kept repeating herself, "tell me your issue, I will assist you". After 15 min. of this, thinking maybe she didnt realize I was angry or mad and said in a loud voice again: 'transfer me now, I do not want to talk to you anymore'. It didnt work. I thought I was lost in the Twilight Zone, is this really happening? She cant help me, (and yes I knew this for a fact after trying for so long with so many rep's), and wont let me talk to another person.... The clincher: she wouldnt acknowledge any of my requests, even when I got loud, she ignored my part of the conversation and just kept asking what she could assist me with. I think there was something else amis with this rep., something perhaps psychological? her behavior was a bit strange, even if it's coming from a culture completely diffferent from my own. Obviously this one got to me, but out of shear and obsolute confusion and frustration. (and no, hanging up never occured to me, never had to hang up on a customer service person before)
While I feel both of these occurances may be rare, I have to wonder what is being instructed to them that either was allowed to happen? In the 1st instance: was he told to be personable with customers and thought asking personal questions was a part of that? In the 2nd instance: is the work ethic in India so strict or the management so dictating that she was really afraid to not be the person to assist me, to have to transfer her call to another rep, the most mortifying thing she could do? would she be punished greatly?
I have no idea as I didnt ask them. But I did realize after all this: Americans and India call centers dont get along the majority of the time because of culture. The differences are huge, and I'm very sure there are prejudices that go both ways. While big business is using this 'tool' because it is cheap and they work 24 hour call centers there, is it really meeting the needs of American customers? and what about the employees working the lines? are they benefitting in any way really other than money? Or is that another cultural difference that I dont understand? I have had many calls end with satisfaction, but too many that were uneeded frsutration, involving language barriers and culture differences, and no solutions. This does seem to be getting better as the call centers are becoming more educated and experienced with us, so maybe this will be a working solution in the years to come. To add: I have Indian friends...LOL... no but really... that have mentinoed this issue to me as well; but they are Americans in their culture and do not follow Indian cultural guidelines. It is not skin I'm pointing to in my Casual Observance, but a difference that is inherent, can't be taught with a book, a cultural difference that is engrained to both the caller and the representative. Maybe one day someone will have figured this out? I'm sure there is a book written on the subject.
As I'm sure, more than one person has experienced this scenario, there is no point in restating the obvious, you call, you get someone who says their name is Steven or Michelle, even though you know it isnt. The conversation occurs, you hope you will get the answer you need. You hang up satisfied or more frustrated.
I first thought that to be against overseas customer service was ignorant or racists. I mean, they have the guide books and have been trained on the software, product, or service you are calling about. Right?
Well, I have realized that may not be enough. Americans are very demanding, and this has become an integrated part of our society. We move at a fast pace in general, always engaged in a 'rat race' mentality. 'If you can't help me, get out of my way'. This is perpetual, as it may not be us with the urgent need but our customers, and they are rushed because of their boss, which they have to listen to becuase they have to support their family, who is rushing off to soccer games and ballet. Not enough time for life, so rush the hours you have.
As an American who has been fortunate to have traveled across the pond, I realized that Americans and our country has had a profound effect on the world. This is made so obvious by the eonomic situation, we collapsed, they all collapsed. Our world is intertwined. No matter how much you may hate 'foreignors' (I will hold my opinion on that for a later blog), you cannot escape it. They live here, we live there, we are all a big mix! India included. While the majority of their population is Indian, born and raised, they talk to more Americans each day, further intergrating our societies. This is very difficult for both sides I think, as Americans most likely havent traveled to India, and most Indians havent traveled to the US. Americans more times than not, are not schooled on other cultures or socities, we are such a large country with such a mix of people that most do not feel the need to go outside of our continent. This is where the problem of Talking to India comes in.
When Americans call customer service, we are expecting answers...30 minutes ago. We are usually impatient and are not too happy, and to now have to 'deal' with huge cultural differences that we have no basis to understand. I try to be patient, realizing these poor people ( not poor money, but by being subjected to the attitudes of Americans) are making more money than they could have hoped for, doing a job most Americans find rather demeaning. I have done phone customer service and have had my share of yelling and nasty comments, but have come to realize that when customers called, they now had a free therapist to vent their frustration on, no matter that their issue is really about something else in their day, which they turn into more anger about the product or service they are calling about. I took it in stride and never took it home, luckily. I'm not so sure about the rep's in India... I have never gotten much attitude back, even during particularly stressful phone calls, but have had the few conversations that were of complete and utter shock to me.
The First: Called about a music player I use, it began to have issues and needed customer service to assist me in fixing it. During the conversation the rep (in India) began to ask me personal questions, which I cant remember now of course, but I do remember the shock I felt and how angry I was. I didnt yell at him, mainly due to shock, but did sternly tell him that was none of his business, to keep all our conversation professional. He did, but I have to wonder where he got the idea that this is how to interact with a caller? Especially a female
The Second: Called about a VOiP service, my phone wouldnt work and had been having alot of problems with it. I had called a couple of times before, again, no yelling, but getting to the point where a manager would have to assist as all other rep's didnt have enough knowledge or experience to actually help fix the problem. I spoke to a woman this last time; she went through all the basic introductions and questions one normally gets when calling into a large calling station over seas. I obliged, even though I had already expereinced all this and knew she couldnt help. She asked me to describe my problem, I did. She then began to lead me through all the solutions I already knew, had previously tried too many times to count, step by step. I explained I already did all of this, to please transfer me to a manager as no solutions provided after 3-4 calls has worked. The shock with this call: She WOULDNT let me go! She would NOT transfer me despite me asking her many many many times politely. I was in complete shock and awe at what was going on. She just kept telling me to describe my problem, she could fix it. I explained to her, she does not understand my issue, the solutions she is providing do not work etc... this continued repetitiously for 10 min. I finally, with no other alternative, told her I do not want to talk to her anymore, to transfer me immediately, even if it wasnt a manager. I couldnt talk to her anymore. She wouldnt do it, just kept repeating herself, "tell me your issue, I will assist you". After 15 min. of this, thinking maybe she didnt realize I was angry or mad and said in a loud voice again: 'transfer me now, I do not want to talk to you anymore'. It didnt work. I thought I was lost in the Twilight Zone, is this really happening? She cant help me, (and yes I knew this for a fact after trying for so long with so many rep's), and wont let me talk to another person.... The clincher: she wouldnt acknowledge any of my requests, even when I got loud, she ignored my part of the conversation and just kept asking what she could assist me with. I think there was something else amis with this rep., something perhaps psychological? her behavior was a bit strange, even if it's coming from a culture completely diffferent from my own. Obviously this one got to me, but out of shear and obsolute confusion and frustration. (and no, hanging up never occured to me, never had to hang up on a customer service person before)
While I feel both of these occurances may be rare, I have to wonder what is being instructed to them that either was allowed to happen? In the 1st instance: was he told to be personable with customers and thought asking personal questions was a part of that? In the 2nd instance: is the work ethic in India so strict or the management so dictating that she was really afraid to not be the person to assist me, to have to transfer her call to another rep, the most mortifying thing she could do? would she be punished greatly?
I have no idea as I didnt ask them. But I did realize after all this: Americans and India call centers dont get along the majority of the time because of culture. The differences are huge, and I'm very sure there are prejudices that go both ways. While big business is using this 'tool' because it is cheap and they work 24 hour call centers there, is it really meeting the needs of American customers? and what about the employees working the lines? are they benefitting in any way really other than money? Or is that another cultural difference that I dont understand? I have had many calls end with satisfaction, but too many that were uneeded frsutration, involving language barriers and culture differences, and no solutions. This does seem to be getting better as the call centers are becoming more educated and experienced with us, so maybe this will be a working solution in the years to come. To add: I have Indian friends...LOL... no but really... that have mentinoed this issue to me as well; but they are Americans in their culture and do not follow Indian cultural guidelines. It is not skin I'm pointing to in my Casual Observance, but a difference that is inherent, can't be taught with a book, a cultural difference that is engrained to both the caller and the representative. Maybe one day someone will have figured this out? I'm sure there is a book written on the subject.
Service people and my take on society
I have often found service people to be some of the most casually inspiring or totally frustrating interactions of my day.
Case in Point:
Drive through fast food employees: It is of great inspiration when i encounter people working at these windows, and they are happy, kind, and friendly. I am surprised by their demeanor, expecting them to be frustrated, grumpy and having a 'couldn't care less' attitude, it is an encounter than can brighten my day. This is almost always the case at a few places in partiucular... and then there are the others, who you wish you hadn't encountered at all...
Residential Building employees: While I know they are only doing their job, dictating and acting out what has been instructed of them, it is their attitudes that can set a day off into a cloudy, grumpy mess. I often have to go into these buildings for work, and it was of great shock to me, at a recently completed building, when most of the staff was rather rude, and acted condescending. Granted, I was already having a bad day, and I realized through all of this that they have no idea, and may just be reacting to my bad day ( my attitude clearly changes I'm sure). But then I also realize that they are more likely to already have some attitude of their own prior to our interaction. I am shocked sometimes at the things I am told, but more shocked by the attitude presented with it. This was particularly bad yesterday evening. I had arrived as usual, but had not been to this building yet, so am not accustomed to the rules and 'in's and out's' of their operations. I was first told by a ego driven young man, most likely college student, that I was not allowed to park for free, even if I was providing a service to a resident. I was irritated to say the least, but was further insulted as he seemed to pass judgement on my current job, caring for animals. There is a long list of insults I wanted to throw his way after his comment with attitude, but realized i am above that, he is only a lowley valet. (that makes me feel better :)) Then I get inside the building, 15 min. later mind you, parking was ridiculous. I ask the Concierge if there is anything she can do to assist me with the parking. Her summarized response: "Our residents know there is no free parking, and we are under no obligation to provide parking of any sort to services or delivery people." WOW!! Ok, thanks for adding that in there... 'under no obligation'... Clearly they do not understand the needs of their residents, nor care if their needs are met. FYI: there is no parking elsewhere around the building minus street parking on 5th, but there are 4 of these buildings in a 2 block radius, also with no parking for guests or services... so I complete my appointment and leave for the next one.
Needless to say, I was upset, frustrated and insulted. I felt as though these people, while acting out what they have been told, are truly robots of the 'machine' of society. They are great at being sub-servient to the bigger authorities dictations, I sense they can't see past themselves, or the situation to see how this can benefit them, or the very people they are supposed to be servicing. Which must be great for management, ' dont think for yourself or others, just do what we say and you'll get paid'. Whats even sadder: they most likely wont be at these jobs in a year, and I have been doing my job for 5. I feel they are blindly defending an issue or position that is of no benefit to them, and wont be of detriment to others if they allowed it. (but will be of benefit to the resident in the building they work for, if they would)
This 2nd interaction is not unique, I have encountered this more than once (and was always in a much better mood!), at various buildings, but now have a new found respect for one that I complained about often, at least they provide a services entrance and parking ( well its actually bad parking, but at least they try to provide it).
I love my job, but hate the people aspect of it (not the client so much, but the service people I have to interact with as a part of it). Why do people have to 'suck' in general? I was just watching a celebrity riddeled video on Youtube entailing Obama and his speeches made prior and during his Presidential inauguration, and the message being that we be more responsible for our individual actions and consider others instead of 'Me, Me Me...' and act out that notion by volunteering. While I find celebrity engulfed public service annoucemnts VERY annoying and dont understand why they fit the role for spokesperson of the year, much less why I should listen to Demi Moore, or Ashton Kutcher, or any of the 20-30 or so on there...I do think this is the main issue with people and our society as it continues to progress further down this tunnel of isolated observation and consideration, which popular culture, many celebrities and our society and youth, are perpetuating.
While I know that society has it's cycles and the most recent for generation Y and even some of the X'er's (those age 16 and above, even people in their late 20's and early 30's) have a new found talent of complete egotisim like nothing the world has seen before. It makes me sad when i bump into these people through a day, but at the end of the day, (I try) realize that it is another cycle, and I can only be hopeful as to where it goes. I think this society is also creating people who care more, and do so more obviously. (and not just to fulfill their ego, or to benefit their celebrity status).
Additionally, a huge issue that most Americans can relate to: big business acting completely out of line with the law and any societal guidelines. (the past year has been littered with businesses reaching out for help due to their bad practices and some going to jail). THANK GOODNESS! I know many people agree with me, but now all everyone says is "corporate greed". Them being a corporation has nothing to do with it, I understand what they mean, just dont like how it has become so general: if its a large company they wont do what they say, or they are 'bad'. This is a slap in the face to entrepreneurship and the business owners who have worked hard to grow their company out of their own city or state. I feel if people grounded themselves more and realized that the societal breakdown (as I see it) begins with them, that there is still hope. Expect more of yourself and others, business owners included, including community invovlement vs. only a 'how can I get on top' , and squish all others, type of attitude. That through this muddled society's morality and befudled human kindness baromoter that they can begin the change. Instead of posing a bad attitude and perpetuating the mean streak and egoist attitude, they can instead be a part of something greater, something bigger than themselves. Even if they never reach any further than their own circle of people.
I am the first to admit, I am not the kindest person I have ever met. In fact, I have been proud to a be a B***ch, depsite me being a rather shy person. As I have gotten older, it has gotten worse. Yes, worse. I became the B**ch that I wanted to be, the tough person who can handle any situation. Now, I'm not so sure I like her. She is someone who has fulfilled the ego expected in today's society, and can be the biggest B* in the room at times. Who really wants to be around that? Confidence is one thing, but I realized I have always admired the kind people who were strong. Something I feel is much more positive of a goal. In our society we dont have to get walked on, but we dont have to think of ourselves only, all day long, with all our interactions. This issue is even a bigger deal when I watch news on the war, see artists who have made exhibits based on poverty and war, or visit european countries just to realize the building I'm in had to be rebuilt from bombings just 50 years ago. We dont have to be depressed by this, but realize when it comes down to it, we are all human, cut from the same cloth. While our tough skin helps us deny the obvious ( I know I do with certain circumstances), we can be open to basic human ineractions and acceptance. (kindness may be a reach, and I dont expect world peace, just a greater respect for human indiviuality, as I understand it)
So, hopefully, everyone, including myself, will take a little time to realize something outside of themselves and reach out to someone who may be in more pain than them to be that little ray of sunshine in that persons day. Do something kind, and others will observe and follow, creating a perpetual motion of change. Even if you are the low man on the totem pole, you can be something more than yourself, your job or status in life doesnt dictate how you interact with others or the change you can affect on the world around you.
Case in Point:
Drive through fast food employees: It is of great inspiration when i encounter people working at these windows, and they are happy, kind, and friendly. I am surprised by their demeanor, expecting them to be frustrated, grumpy and having a 'couldn't care less' attitude, it is an encounter than can brighten my day. This is almost always the case at a few places in partiucular... and then there are the others, who you wish you hadn't encountered at all...
Residential Building employees: While I know they are only doing their job, dictating and acting out what has been instructed of them, it is their attitudes that can set a day off into a cloudy, grumpy mess. I often have to go into these buildings for work, and it was of great shock to me, at a recently completed building, when most of the staff was rather rude, and acted condescending. Granted, I was already having a bad day, and I realized through all of this that they have no idea, and may just be reacting to my bad day ( my attitude clearly changes I'm sure). But then I also realize that they are more likely to already have some attitude of their own prior to our interaction. I am shocked sometimes at the things I am told, but more shocked by the attitude presented with it. This was particularly bad yesterday evening. I had arrived as usual, but had not been to this building yet, so am not accustomed to the rules and 'in's and out's' of their operations. I was first told by a ego driven young man, most likely college student, that I was not allowed to park for free, even if I was providing a service to a resident. I was irritated to say the least, but was further insulted as he seemed to pass judgement on my current job, caring for animals. There is a long list of insults I wanted to throw his way after his comment with attitude, but realized i am above that, he is only a lowley valet. (that makes me feel better :)) Then I get inside the building, 15 min. later mind you, parking was ridiculous. I ask the Concierge if there is anything she can do to assist me with the parking. Her summarized response: "Our residents know there is no free parking, and we are under no obligation to provide parking of any sort to services or delivery people." WOW!! Ok, thanks for adding that in there... 'under no obligation'... Clearly they do not understand the needs of their residents, nor care if their needs are met. FYI: there is no parking elsewhere around the building minus street parking on 5th, but there are 4 of these buildings in a 2 block radius, also with no parking for guests or services... so I complete my appointment and leave for the next one.
Needless to say, I was upset, frustrated and insulted. I felt as though these people, while acting out what they have been told, are truly robots of the 'machine' of society. They are great at being sub-servient to the bigger authorities dictations, I sense they can't see past themselves, or the situation to see how this can benefit them, or the very people they are supposed to be servicing. Which must be great for management, ' dont think for yourself or others, just do what we say and you'll get paid'. Whats even sadder: they most likely wont be at these jobs in a year, and I have been doing my job for 5. I feel they are blindly defending an issue or position that is of no benefit to them, and wont be of detriment to others if they allowed it. (but will be of benefit to the resident in the building they work for, if they would)
This 2nd interaction is not unique, I have encountered this more than once (and was always in a much better mood!), at various buildings, but now have a new found respect for one that I complained about often, at least they provide a services entrance and parking ( well its actually bad parking, but at least they try to provide it).
I love my job, but hate the people aspect of it (not the client so much, but the service people I have to interact with as a part of it). Why do people have to 'suck' in general? I was just watching a celebrity riddeled video on Youtube entailing Obama and his speeches made prior and during his Presidential inauguration, and the message being that we be more responsible for our individual actions and consider others instead of 'Me, Me Me...' and act out that notion by volunteering. While I find celebrity engulfed public service annoucemnts VERY annoying and dont understand why they fit the role for spokesperson of the year, much less why I should listen to Demi Moore, or Ashton Kutcher, or any of the 20-30 or so on there...I do think this is the main issue with people and our society as it continues to progress further down this tunnel of isolated observation and consideration, which popular culture, many celebrities and our society and youth, are perpetuating.
While I know that society has it's cycles and the most recent for generation Y and even some of the X'er's (those age 16 and above, even people in their late 20's and early 30's) have a new found talent of complete egotisim like nothing the world has seen before. It makes me sad when i bump into these people through a day, but at the end of the day, (I try) realize that it is another cycle, and I can only be hopeful as to where it goes. I think this society is also creating people who care more, and do so more obviously. (and not just to fulfill their ego, or to benefit their celebrity status).
Additionally, a huge issue that most Americans can relate to: big business acting completely out of line with the law and any societal guidelines. (the past year has been littered with businesses reaching out for help due to their bad practices and some going to jail). THANK GOODNESS! I know many people agree with me, but now all everyone says is "corporate greed". Them being a corporation has nothing to do with it, I understand what they mean, just dont like how it has become so general: if its a large company they wont do what they say, or they are 'bad'. This is a slap in the face to entrepreneurship and the business owners who have worked hard to grow their company out of their own city or state. I feel if people grounded themselves more and realized that the societal breakdown (as I see it) begins with them, that there is still hope. Expect more of yourself and others, business owners included, including community invovlement vs. only a 'how can I get on top' , and squish all others, type of attitude. That through this muddled society's morality and befudled human kindness baromoter that they can begin the change. Instead of posing a bad attitude and perpetuating the mean streak and egoist attitude, they can instead be a part of something greater, something bigger than themselves. Even if they never reach any further than their own circle of people.
I am the first to admit, I am not the kindest person I have ever met. In fact, I have been proud to a be a B***ch, depsite me being a rather shy person. As I have gotten older, it has gotten worse. Yes, worse. I became the B**ch that I wanted to be, the tough person who can handle any situation. Now, I'm not so sure I like her. She is someone who has fulfilled the ego expected in today's society, and can be the biggest B* in the room at times. Who really wants to be around that? Confidence is one thing, but I realized I have always admired the kind people who were strong. Something I feel is much more positive of a goal. In our society we dont have to get walked on, but we dont have to think of ourselves only, all day long, with all our interactions. This issue is even a bigger deal when I watch news on the war, see artists who have made exhibits based on poverty and war, or visit european countries just to realize the building I'm in had to be rebuilt from bombings just 50 years ago. We dont have to be depressed by this, but realize when it comes down to it, we are all human, cut from the same cloth. While our tough skin helps us deny the obvious ( I know I do with certain circumstances), we can be open to basic human ineractions and acceptance. (kindness may be a reach, and I dont expect world peace, just a greater respect for human indiviuality, as I understand it)
So, hopefully, everyone, including myself, will take a little time to realize something outside of themselves and reach out to someone who may be in more pain than them to be that little ray of sunshine in that persons day. Do something kind, and others will observe and follow, creating a perpetual motion of change. Even if you are the low man on the totem pole, you can be something more than yourself, your job or status in life doesnt dictate how you interact with others or the change you can affect on the world around you.